Excuse me!

Alex has been exposed to Japanese from the time he was born. Ken talks and reads to him in Japanese.
Yes, his nanny, as well as I, only speak and read English to him but he does understand the difference between the 2 languages.
He gauges the direction each language reads (Japanese : up / down) or the way the pages are turned (Japanese : from left to right). He can tell right away if someone is speaking Japanese or English even though he doesn't know any of the words.

When we were in NY, Alex and I often went to this Japanese restaurant nearby when Ken was late at work. It was probably the only time Alex got to see me speak some Japanese to someone besides Ken. I used to say "Su-mi-ma-sen" when I waved to a waitstaff, had tea served or dropped something on the floor. It essentially means "excuse me". Alex picked it up quickly and he managed to pronounce it flawlessly at the age of 2.5 years old. Whenever we would go to a Japanese restaurant, he would try this word out on people.

Alex has a Japanese name alongside his English one. He is called in his Japanese name when spoken to in Japanese and English name at other times. But he does not let me call him in his Japanese name, mainly because I don't speak the language well.

One day I started out with his Japanese name and just kept on going much to his protest.
Then he had an epiphany.

"Oh, I know! This is Su-mi-ma-sen! You are saying Su-mi-ma-sen!"

No I'm not using that word at all.
What is he saying?

Then I had an epiphany.
I realized he never understood what the word "Su-mi-ma-sen" meant.
He thought it was an English word that stood for "Japanese language".
So when he's in a Japanese environment, he would get excited and say "Su-mi-ma-sen" just to reiterate the fact that he realizes he's in a Japanese place.

And all this time I thought we were raising a multilingual child....

He's 4 now and nowhere near speaking Japanese.

When does my Business Trip Start?

Just a normal day in the life of......

I get to the airport 12 hours early.
I don't notice this until the woman at the check-in counter looks at me puzzled.

All this after struggling for an hour to reserve a cab last night to get me to the airport early in the morning (5:45 am pick up).
There were no limos nor cabs because it was a Monday after a 3 day weekend (whatever that means, I guess demand is high).
The last car service company on the list had mercy.

But now that I got AM and PM mixed up.....

So I have 12 hours to kill.
I need to get rid of my huge suitcase first.

I go in the direction the ground crew tells me to.
I don't find anywhere to dump it.
I look at the airport map.
Golly, it's at the end of the other side!

I was lead in the wrong direction.
It looks like a 10 minutes walk to the other side
This airport is huge.

I finally arrive at temporary storage.
The guy asks me when the suitcase will be reclaimed.
"12 hours later"

He looks surprised.
Guess what, I am surprised too!

Just like the ground crew he consoles me by telling me that at least I am 12 hours early and not late.
As if that makes me feel any better.

I eat breakfast at this place where they sell Japanese bagels (steamed, not boiled) and then consider my plan of attack.

Although the airport was all the rage when it opened after extensive renovations, there is no way I'll spend more than 2hours in this place.
I can stay at an airport hotel for 6000yen ($60) during the day, meaning I get power for my PC but it just doesn't seem worth the price and effort.
I do want to get my necklace that I forgot at home if possible, and there is the issue of my dead watch so I decide that going home is the best solution.

I call Ken and whine about the situation.
He suggests that I go to Tokyo station near his office, and kill time there so we can have lunch.
When I tell him that I plan to go home, an hour away from his office, he suggests having coffee after 3pm.
Isn't that nice.
I'm feeling so sad and helpless (called the 'to-ho-ho' feeling in Japanese) I'm grateful for the company.

The cabfare to the airport was company expense, but there is no way they are going to foot the bill for 3 trips in one day.
I find the cheapest way to get back to the city, some obscure train that used to be the fastest route to the airport 2 decades ago.
Once I am near the city, I get off at Ueno station expecting to change onto something called a Keikyu line that will take me closer to home.

I bought connecting tickets.
I don't see any signs saying Keikyu.
The station master tells me I had to get off at Aoto station that was like 3 stations and 15minutes ago.

Hey, nobody told me that!
I'm bleeding money here.
I decide to take another train home.

Once home, thing seem peaceful.
Had the leftover udon for lunch and worked the computer.
Then I hear the locks turning.

It must be grandma.

It was.
She's standing there dumbstruck when she sees me.
She thought she came on the wrong day and looks as though she’s about to cry.
She’s paranoid about Alzheimer’s hitting her.

I tell her I gave her the wrong time and she’s on the attack on why I could be so dumb.
She claims to have come to check on the fridge.
Didn't I spend something like 30minutes yesterday listing what was in there and e-mailed it to her?
Can’t she just check her e-mails before leaving home?

She prepares some food for Alex and Ken and we talk about Alex and marvel at how observant he is.
He takes one look at a photo when I was a kid and he rightfully points out that it's me. Well okay, all the other kids were blonde.
But he can even pick out grandma when she was young.
Pity we don't have pix of young Ken.

Grandma asks where the manga books 'oh-ke no monsho' are.
These are comic books I used to read when I was a teenager to, um, learn Japanese.
Yes, grandma thought the best way for me to learn Japanese quickly was to read comic books.
Still, Japanese comic books are nothing like the American ones and some are nearly a work of art, seriously.

Anyway, since space was of essence in our household I sold them.
Apparently grandma was reading them the last time she was here.
I felt so bad.
I got out some other manga 'with love, Eroica' by the same author instead.
She seemed happy.

Gave her the rundown on Alex's routine and she was off to a coffee shop until Alex and the babysitter got home.
I grab some extra socks and panties hanging from the racks, pack the watch with dead batteries and I am off too.

I arrive at Tokyo station and go straight to the brand new Daimaru department store.
The watch repair man opens my watch after announcing that battery change for Hermes watches will cost me a cool 3250yen ($32).
He carefully takes out the battery, tests the current and says that the battery is fine.

Ok, so what is the issue?
Am I going to be watchless this entire trip?
There are no issues.
Watch working properly.

Goodness, what an embarrassment and waste of time!
That seems to be the theme of today.

Wasting time.

Okay, I'm gonna waste time searching for dinner that I will be eating on the train that takes me to the airport.
After buying my dinner and heading to the bookstore at the other side of the station, which is like a 15 minutes walk via underground passage, I get a call from my boss asking me that I get a gift for our new restaurant that opened recently In Waikiki.
"Something Japanese like rice crackers in neat boxes would be nice"
Ummm, there are hardly any rice cracker stores on this side of the station.
I'm sent on a wild goose chase.
I'm wearing my coat and I'm getting hot.
I finally find a Japanese/European 'gaufre' place at the basement of one of the swankiest new buildings in the business district.
Not rice crackers but a very famous Japanese “western” confectionery.
The price is agreeable too.
I settle on it.

Just as I am figuring out how to get out of this basement labyrinth, Ken calls.
He's ready to meet for coffee.
Yipee!

I go over the day and think about what I'm going to report to him.
It's a long walk to his office.
I end up walking something like another 10minutes.
I’m getting a lot of workout.

After some nice talks we part at 5pm.
I would make the 5:33pm train to the airport.
Alas, after much struggle to figure out how to use the ticket machine, the tix were sold out so I had to get the 6pm train.

This is so sad.
I can’t even figure out a ticketing machine.
I feel like a clueless American tourist in an Asian country.
Still would make it to the airport in time but I was expecting to kind of relax there.
I'm pretty sure I have a premium economy seat, which should mean that I get use of the exclusive airport lounge.
I mean, don't I deserve this pampering today?

However the ticketing lady at the airport does not give me the voucher for the lounge.
I think of asking her but suddenly not sure of the status of my seat.
I refrain from asking to save myself from further embarrassment.
I had too many of those today.

Defeated, i go through immigrations and get our staff in NY some duty free cigarettes.
I can't find the one he's asking for.
And the price is also different.
Is he going to reimburse me even though it’s like twice the price he thinks it is?

I wouldn't mind buying him something as a gift but I can't tolerate cigarettes and cannot imagine myself buying it as a gift. I am going to get my money back on this.
However this guy is our restaurant staff and he’s scraping by.
He has no money.
Oh well, I get him the closest one I can find.

I remember to get something for All Souls school too since I’m planning to visit.
Good girl.
I feel like I am finally regaining control of myself.
I walk towards the coveted lounge.
It looks closed.
Maybe that was why they didn't give me the voucher.

I go to the restroom and struggle to get my rolling carry-on in the stall.
Japanese stalls are tiny and I am not trusting enough to leave my computer contained carry-on outside.
By this time I don't get frustrated that easily.
After a few minutes I succeed and even manage to get out some pills that I need which were in the bottom of the carry-on.

After browsing stores and not finding my favorite watch that I plan to buy, I head to the gate.
I see the usual scenes of ground crew busying themselves.
Then some male figure arrives.
I catch a glimpse of his profile and figure he's senior.
Everyone is paying attention to him.
Whatever.

I look down and around again.
Hang on, did I just see that senior’s face?
He looks familiar.
I look at him again, this time his full feature are in full view.
Is he...?

Wow, a blast from the past!
An ex-boyfriend I haven't seen for 18years.
He tells me he had dinner with my friend recently and heard all about my move here.
So he has been keeping a tab on me.
Hmmm.
We exchange business cards and he's back to work.

So what does this all mean?
I mean, it has been a very strange day.
Is there a message here from somewhere high above?
Thankfully my spirits have been high.
Considering all I have been through, I'm a somewhat happy gal today.

The hormone balance is good.
But is this the end for me or the beginning of something?
I have been wondering about this ex ever since I moved to Japan.
So I finally see him and know what he’s doing.
Wish granted.

A treat before my end or a sign of something new?
I get on the plane and realize this flight has no premium economy.
Just 2 classes, business and economy.

It’s 9pm and time for me to sleep.
I will be arriving at 8 am in Hawaii.

I take a melatonin tablet wondering if this is going to cause a rare allergic reaction in me and kill me.
Ha! It doesn't even knock me out to sleep.
When I arrive in Hawaii, it's Monday morning all over again
Is it going to be a new start?

I always wonder about horoscopes that tell you what the day will be.
Is it going to be the same when you jump date line?

The day has just begun in Waikiki......

Understanding Japanese

My hearing ability in Japanese has never been that good, but for the past decade or so, since the only Japanese I really listened to in NY was my husband's, which was often grammatically incorrect, it has deteriorated considerably.

So I go to a supermarket named "Peacock" and am asked something by the cashier. I ask her to repeat and she obliges. I still can't understand.
In NY, when the sales assistant asks something when you are paying, they are usually trying to sell a credit card.
I guess the correct answer in the Peacock situation is "no" as well.

So from then on I just say no, whatever I am asked.
I don't know what I am being asked anyway, so what have I got to lose besides some opportunity to open a line of credit?

Well, I finally realized after several months that I lose the privilege of getting a plastic bag for my stuff.
Why didn't I even notice this for so long??

Memories of New York

A nice Saturday in Central Park in June. Ken already left for Japan, Alex and Harrison had a playdate in the park. 

Alex got upset because he couldn’t eat his snack right before lunch. 

He starts the guilt trip.

Alex: That’s not fair! I’m not talking to you mommy. I miss daddy. I miss daddy~!

Harrison (deadpan): Daddy’s at work

Alex: No Harrison!! DADDY IS IN JAPAN! I miss daddieeeeeeee.

Carole: Harrison would never say that in a million years. Did you hear what he said? "Daddy’s at work." That’s Bruce’s excuse when he’s not around!

Of all the years I have been in NY this is the most memorable conversation. I don’t know why, but it was just too funny at the time.

Japanese love stereotyping

In the past few weeks I have noticed that there is so much blatant stereotyping going around in Japan it's nauseating.

I go to an electronics store to get something for my computer.
The shop assistant gives me a leaflet saying "this is really popular with women because it's easy to understand"
So, like we are dumber than men?

I am getting a new cell phone.
You will be amazed at the offerings here.
There are like 500 styles, seriously.
The shop assistant shows me several styles, telling me "For the ladies, I think these designs are nice"
No I am not interested in leopard print or pink crystal. I want chrome.
"Oh, those are really popular with men. Are you sure that's what you want?"

I shop at a supermarket.
They were giving out freebies to taste.
So I take one.
The guy handing it to me tells me that "young women all love this".
Well, I'm not your typical young woman and no, I don't like it, is what I said.
Yes confrontational, a social suicide in this country to be saying something like that in public, but these seemingly harmless stereotyping are so annoying.

Yet to find Silver Lining

I have somewhat settled in Tokyo with more than half my things still floating across the pacific.

According to studies by University of Maryland/BBC collaboration, a United Nations thinktank (forgot the name) and some big-shot Asian research center, the Japanese are the most pessimistic nationals in the world. This is not only about the economy, but outlook in life in general. Each study verified this individually with extensive studies and surveys, at different times.

Kind of brings you down if you live there, doesn't it?
Before leaving NY, I'm thinking, okay I'm going to find a silver lining in Japan.
But I have to get hit by these studies that a friend in Washington DC sent me.
The studies have been proven to me, much on an individual level after I have arrived, starting with neighbors all the way down to the potential babysitters I am interviewing.
I desperately need prozac right now. This feeling of depression is contagious.

There is so much I am confused, irritated, and plain dumbfounded about and on top of that, I found out I don't understand half of what the people are saying.
It's like I am in a foreign country.
Wasn't I fairly proficient in Japanese? I mean, I have a husband who speak to me in Japanese!

I found something similar to FreshDirect, delivering groceries on a 2 hour window of your choice, and I realized I made a mistake when checking off the desired delivery time.
So I called customer services to ask if I could change the timeframe and the girl says yes, and she walks me through the change, reconfirming every single order I made, thanking me each and every time for each of the 30 items I ordered, and then after I finally moved delivery time to 4 hours later, she asks me if I wanted anything else, I say no, and then she thanks me for calling and informs me that they won't be able to deliver on the requested date. I am like, so what were we doing for the past 20 minutes? Did I miss something? She said something about procedure, but I just didn't understand.

I'm told at Alex's summer camp that Alex NEEDS to wear socks with his water sandals. I asked why and was told it's dangerous without socks. I asked again recently and was told he can catch a cold without socks. I am ignoring the socks order, but am wondering if I am really hearing things right.

Now onto the bright side of things.
Although they lack a lot of organic stuff, the selection of heat and eat food is amazing.
If I go to a supermarket and wanted to get a ready-to-eat-after-nuking risotto, I can find 15 types of them on the shelf.

I have already conquered 5 flavors. Still 10 to go and that is just rissotto.
They also have curry with rice, short pasta, long pasta, chinese fried rice, rice porridge etc.
There is a perpetual curry fad in Japan, and there are many famous curry restaurants.
The restaurants hook up with manufacturers, and make their own branded ready-to-eat curry, complete with rice.
I have tried out 4 curries already, it will take until September to conquer all.
There is a whole aisle dedicated to this semi-junk dish (god knows what's in them to get that shelf life!).
Since curry is my favorite food, working from home and nuking my own lunch has never been better.

Then if we move on to the fridge/freezer section, there are numerous ready-made food; all you need to do is pop it in the oven.
I have been saved with the frozen "lunch bites" that they sell.
Chicken nuggets, mini-sausages, fried fish cakes, veggie patties, rice balls, pastas, veggie derivatives that are in bite size and ready to stick in the lunch box.
They are shaped in moons, stars, cars and flowers and for Alex, who is miserable in camp, these lunch are the highlight of his day.

I went to a "western" supermarket today (named so because they sell foreign imports) and found Huggies pull-ups with "cars the movie" design on it.
Although Alex has graduated his night time diapers a few months ago, his bed and waterproof liner are still crossing the pacific, and I can't afford to have accidents on the mattress we are borrowing right now, so I am having him in diapers. He's not happy with the Japanese one so I grabbed the huggies.
At the cash register, the woman announced cheerfully that it was $40.
WHAT?
It's 21count. Not like they have 60 in them.
It's less than $20 on amazon.
I was frozen there for a while.
I went back and checked the price; she was right.
And for your reference, a single bounty roll is $5, a bottle of San Pellegrino is $4, Frito-lay chips (large bag) is $10, a GE monogram stovetop with oven that yours truly had in her rental building is 10grand (not that they sold that there) and a pedicure is anywhere from $70 to $180 (and this is just a run of the mill nail salon).
Bloody expensive.

Where is my prozac?

Brand New Washing Machine

We got a new washing machine.
It's actually a washer/dryer.
It does 2 jobs at once, well ok, not at once, but in one cycle..
We bought it to save space and time.
We were wrong on both accounts.

The space issue:
When we went to buy the machine, the shop assistant insisted on coming to our house for "estimates".
We had no idea what they were trying to estimate.
They kept saying that they had to know if the machine will fit.
We we did our own measurements and it's not like that's rocket science.
We were having a hard time wondering why they couldn't trust our tape measure.
Since we were having trouble comprehending Japanese, we conceded and allowed them to estimate (it was free anyway).

They come a couple of days later and start measuring the apartment like crazy.
The door, the size of the handles, the elevator, the building entrance.
They measured everywhere but the actual area we were going to put the machine in.
They told us the door covering the washing machine area had to go temporarily.
Apparently, with the door there, the machine was not going to go through.
So that was what they were doing.
Japanese apartments are small but their fixtures are about the same as US.
So, door handles or the thickness of doors can hinder stuff getting inside.

We agree to removing the door.
The machine arrives; the door is lying in my son's room upsetting the boy dearly.
Ken falls in love with the machine.
He watches the front loader door open and close without any annoying sounds.
He watches the drum cycling to figure out how much the laundry weighs and to calculate the amount of detergent.
He touches the sleek lines, the soft shade.
Alex, now forgetting the door in his room joins Ken.
They are both mesmerized.

So the door, can we move it?
We try to put it back, but then realize that if we do, the washing machine will not open.
The hinges of the door touches the hinges of the washing machine and if we are not very careful every single time, the loader door will surely break.
We need to have the door opening from the left, not the right.
We figure we can just put the door upside down and connect it to the other side.
But we can't.
The state of the art door is way more complicated that we first thought.
So it's there now, leaning against the wall next to the washing machine.


The time issue:
What we completely failed to grasp was the weather in Japan.
Basically, it's humid.
Hot or cold, it's fairly humid.
So, drying clothes takes extra time.
If we try to dry clothes in the same drum that was for a minute ago washing them, it's going to take considerably longer because the machine needs to dry out the drum at the same time.

We look at the control panel that looks like an airplane cockpit.

There are so many buttons and displays we don't know what to do.

One American businessman I met a decade ago insisted that American machines don't last long not because of manufacturing inferiority but because consumers don't read the owners' manual. They just guess, press buttons and screw the whole machine. He marveled at how Japanese always read their manuals from start to finish.

I was wondering if that was still the case.
The control panel screams "read the owners' manual" but we just couldn't get around doing so.
So we blindly pushed buttons, and the machine gave us a time frame.
"2 hours 45 minutes".
Nearly 3 hours for what? For washing and drying?
Have I already screwed the machine up?

So that is how long it takes.
And washing machines here are small.
You can only do about 2/3 of the amount we do in NY in one cycle at best.
So while I was doing 3 loads in New York, I have to do 5 here.
That's nearly 15 hours of consecutive use.
If the machine breaks down, it's NOT because we didn't read the owners' manual.